6 Real-Life Stories Way Crazier Than Any Movie( Part 2 of 2)

Real life is boring as blaze. That’s why we rely on Hollywood to create cartoonish, over-the-top reputations who could never exist in this nature. Except, you are familiar with, when they do. Every once in a while, person or persons comes along who’s somehow less believable than their closest movie stereotype. These six parties will establish you wonder if we haven’t been living in a shitty Steven Seagal direct-to-video seam all along.

6

Chechnya’s Dictator Holds His Own Mortal Kombat -Style Martial Arts Tournaments

The very first person to pick up a sharp-witted rock established the relevant recommendations of one-on-one martial art largely insignificant. So Hollywood has to look for ways to justify a knot of muscular dudes beating the crap out of each other for movies like Street Fighter and Enter The Dragon . Both feature dictators who live in some impenetrable, far-off country that can only be accessed by playing in their personal martial arts tournament.

It’s a rather obvious and low-effort proposition … and one that likewise exists in the real world.

Ramzan “There Are No Gays In My Country” Kadyrov, head of the Chechen Republic, owns the MMA promotion Akhmat MMA, through which he applies mixed martial arts to both push an extremely macho chauvinistic agenda and form his own security force out of the fighters who aren’t good enough to make it as pros. Below is a real photo of Kadyrov, and not some screwy capital epitome we picked to illustrate this article.

Ramzan Kadyrov/ Instagram He remains the only head of state to use the word broseph during a full hearing of the U.N.

While some of his boxers are really reached it to the UFC, it’s not Las Vegas where Kardyrov hopes to make an impact. Witness, his ultimate desire is to have the best fighters in the UFC come to his country to compete in a martial arts tournament … to the demise.

While the UFC’s boxers have passed on the relevant recommendations, Kadyrov is dead serious. He has already staged MMA engages between children, including his own. And in case you doubt his stomach for actual bloodbath, “theres been” credible reports of his government rounding up, thrash, and executing homosexuals for not being manly enough — an peculiar decision for a boy overtly excited by the prospect of shirtless gentlemen clutching one other.

5

A Shadowy Japanese Group Called “The League Of Blood” Assassinated Their Prime Minister

Hollywood writers love the relevant recommendations of a super secret make-up influencing world events through assassination. Gaze at Marvel’s HYDRA, a mercenary group whose main purposes are 1) carrying on business as acts of terrorism in the name of supernatural rulers, and 2) going punched by Captain America. That first part voices singularly like an actual 1930 s radical that went by an even more dramatic figure: the League of Blood.

Mainichi Newspaper Company Their evil parallelling costumes could use some study, but still, solid supervillainy all around.

The Ketsumeiden( too carried as “Blood Pledge Corps” or “Blood Brotherhood”) was a secret Japanese organization wreaking behind the scenes to either seize superpower or start a war … whichever came firstly. The group was founded by Nissho Inoue, a far-right radical/ revolutionary Buddhist preacher. “Radical” Buddhist seems like a pun, but Inoue was held that Buddhism could be as murderou as any other religion. His mixture of nationalism and religion feelings captivated a whole lot of young person, some of whom happened to be serving in the military. Their destination? Purge Japan of the weak, West-loving politicians dragging down the nation.

After his adherents killed two prominent business leaders, Inoue returned himself in to the police and the group’s macrocosm was revealed to the public. But they weren’t done hitherto. Two months ago, League of Blood members facilitated 11 young naval police( who were upset about international treaties restriction the size of the navy) murder Japanese Prime Minister Inukai Tsuyoshi. And the PM wasn’t even their most high-profile purposed prey for the working day. That would be this person 😛 TAGEND

First National Pictures Inc . Plans to assassinate the dog have never been conclusively proven.

Charlie Chaplin was touring Japan and hanging out with the prime minister’s son that day, so the League of Blood figured they are likely as well kill him too. Plainly they didn’t, maybe because they mistook him for Hitler and fantasized, “Eh, that guy’s all right.”

After the assassinations, different groups went to contest and … received wide-cut public support for their patriotic fervor, get off with light-colored sentences. Sometimes movies are better.

4

British Authorities Speculate A Gentleman Thief Orchestrated A $2.5 Million Book Heist Solely To Thrive His Collection

Movies enjoy the employer crook who goes to absurd durations to plagiarize extremely rare and helpful artifacts, all to improve the feng shui in their living room. We’ve discovered it in movies like The Thomas Crown Affair , wherein Pierce Brosnan is a suffered billionaire who plagiarizes artwork for his collect, and Entrapment , in which Sean Connery is a affluent castling owned who clearly organizes heists to gawk at his partners’ butts. There’s too David Niven in the Pink Panther movies, because you have to be a alluring British gentleman to attract this off.

United Artists They wont even sell you that casing if youre not a high-profile ornament thief.

In real life, rich person don’t to be implemented by elaborated, potentially life-risking capers for kicks. No, they offer other people to do it. At least, that’s what some researchers believe following the theft of $2.5 million in rare journals back in 2017. Three thieves clambered atop a London warehouse roof, drilled through the reinforced fiberglass skylights, and rappelled 40 feet away, all the while dodging the motion sensor horrifies. If the Assignment: Impossible theme isn’t playing in your pate right now, you’re dead inside.

The warehouse harboured numerous uncommon notebooks, dating as far back as the 15 th century, which were about to be carried to a book bazaar in California. What’s fascinating is that the thieves discounted other valuables and extended straight-out for the containers containing the books, grabbing exclusively the rarest( including seminal works on physics and astrology) and leaving the residual. This, combined with the absolute pain in the butt it would be to try to fencing world-famous 500 -year-old volumes, produced law enforcement to speculate that the thieves were working for a affluent collector. They even had a Gotham-City-worthy name for him or her: “The Astronomer.”

Jocelyn Augustino/ The Guardian Better check up on anyone who registered for zoning paperwork for a mountaintop fortress recently.

A year later, there’s still no clue of the books, so we have to conclude that they’re either populating the bookshelf of some rich asshole or facilitating a deranged supervillain create an old-timey rocket to reach the sunlight, where he will build a sun-throne and principle Sol for immortality. Or burn up, whatever.

3

Red Bull Specializes In Stimulating Sports Movie Bad Guys

Every sports movie need to see a competitive unit, and every competitive unit follows two conventions: 1) they’re clearly better-funded than the exponents, with nicer attires and equipment, and 2) they’re jerks. It’s like there’s some big company that starts around buying plays crews and passing them into soulless machines focused on nothing but acquiring and profits. Actually, here i am. It’s called Red Bull.

At some spot, the company that saw billions by mixing polouse testosterone with carbohydrate has been determined that merely sponsoring squads wasn’t enough, and started outright buying them. They don’t simply write the checks; they also rebrand the team altogether, completely destroying its own history. Look at the soccer squad SV Austria Salzburg, which had a century-long bequest in their distinctive violet equipment. Red Bull instantaneously renamed them “FC Red Bull Salzburg, “ supplanted their violet paraphernaliums with grey uniforms sporting the Red Bull logo, and changed the stadium to the “Red Bull Arena.” They even affirmed, “this is a new club with no history.” We’re pretty sure they would have branded the players like cattle if it was legal.

Markus Dallarosa Our slogan is Gives you wings. What part of that says you can also have roots?

Naturally, love weren’t happy with these developments, so they started and organized their own squad. They have the same badge( or as close as legal rule will enable ), wear the old distinctive violet, and play in a smaller stadium right down the road. This is the part of the movie where the new team slowly clambers to the top of the league, beats the Red Bull shills in a nail-biting retribution shootout, buys the team back with the prize money, and unites the city. Regrettably this isn’t a movie, so Red Bull Salzburg is dominating the Austrian tournament, while SV Austria Salzburg is three leagues below them, in the middle of the table.

And this isn’t an isolated case. Red Bull likewise bought/ renamed a German soccer team, a New York football crew, a Formula One team, another Formula One unit, a German Ice Hockey crew, and even founded a League Of Legends unit.

Red Bull Esports/ Twitter That’s a video game, for you non-nerds.

2

Air Force General Curtis LeMay Was The War Room Antagonist From Every Michael Bay Movie

Independence Day, Armageddon , all the Transformers movies — at some quality, a jeopardy, transparently unlikable hawk will roar “JUST KILL EVERYBODY” so we have a nice and tidy foe to spring against. But we all know that things are more black and white in the movies. That guy’s absolutely no truth to the rumors, right?

Meet Curtis LeMay.

United States Air Force No, thank you.

LeMay was an all-around jerk. He regularly belched during rallies simply to end( and undercut) his fellow joint chiefs. He sometimes took tactical shits in his competitive co-worker’s private bathrooms while leaving the door open, exactly as Lao Tzu recommends three times per page in The Art Of War . Once he was asked to put under his cigar to forestall erupting an explosion on a bomber, and replied, “It wouldn’t dare.”

LeMay was an Air Force general who made a mention for himself with a wicked but ultimately effective strategic firebombing campaign against Japan during the War in the Pacific. Unfortunately, his success there changed him into a little bit of a one-trick pony. During the Cuban Missile Crisis, he vehemently admonished President Kennedy to preemptively bomb small island developing, and likened Kennedy’s hinted Naval sieged to the Nazi appeasement at Munich. Once, when asked for a program recommendation on Cuba, he proclaimed, “Fry it.” Dropping nukes was his solution to everything, from international incidents to being overcharged at the grocery store.

We’re not kidding. LeMay prolonged advocating for the attack on Cuba even after the issue of missiles were withdrawn .

1

One Former Nestle CEO Puts Hollywood Evil Rich Guys To Shame

Hollywood desires to dislike the ruthless, avariciou, absurdly inhumane CEO. Think Montgomery Burns, Mr. Potter, Ebenezer Scrooge, everyone on Mr. Robot not wearing jeans, and so on. But those are one-dimensional stereotypes. Real-life CEOs are far more complicated.

Except for Peter Brabeck-Letmathe.

Antonio Cruz/ ABr To save era, go ahead and get your flashlights and pitchforks out now.

Brabeck-Letmathe is the former CEO of Nestle. It was under his tenure that the company started going to get third-world countries and digging their own shafts as beginnings for bottled water. Local governments give them do it because the company promised to create jobs for the villagers … but they said nothing about creating a hygiene emergency. In villages like Bhati Dilwan, Pakistan, the Nestle wells both took sea away from the locals and realized their abiding drinking water grimy, developing in a knot of children going sick. But hey, at least this awful statu was great for Nestle, as their bottled water became the only sucking option in municipality. It doesn’t stuff if Nestle realizes the best good when the other option forms you uncontrollably poop yourself.

While most CEOs carefully backpedal when confronted with their shady business practices, the Notorious PBL dove headfirst into supervilliany. When wondered on the practices of his firm, Brabeck-Letmathe stated that better access to ocean isn’t a claim. Not “caught on a red-hot mic” said it — he proudly spurted that nonsense, then went home to do shootings of crude oil or something.

He has since left Nestle, gone back on the idea, and tried to claim that his repeat was taken out of context. But if you want to know the truth, leader on over to Bhati Dilwan and asking questions what they think of the man. Just recollect, that isn’t Nesquik they’re drinking.

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